Enjoy the Journey

Hello again. It is time for our next story. Boy! Have we gotten such a response from our first two stories, and I can’t wait for you to read this one. I wish I could just put the recording online because I could listen to this woman speak all day. Our third story is a beautiful story of what many women go through in their life: trying to find their worth and trying to overcome their “daddy issues.” This woman is such a joy with a lot of spunk and wisdom. She has wanted to share her story for a while, so please enjoy Her Story.

Her name is Beth Jones.

Beth welcomed Emily and myself into her lovely home with a warm smile, and a cozy house. We decided to sit at the bar and drink one of Beth’s specialty drinks that she has been making while she’s on the Whole 30 (by the way she is doing such a great job sticking to it). Beth is a natural hostess, and such an easy person to talk to, so it wasn’t long before we dived into just talking about life. Beth had been praying about what she wanted to say to all you lovely readers out there, and honestly her heart is shown throughout every thing she had to say.

Beth began our discussion by telling us a little about herself. She explains, “ I have lived a very blessed life. I have been very fortunate but it’s not always been an easy road, and I see now the journey God has had me on the whole time. I come from a military family. My father was a Marine Corps pilot and we moved around a lot. My father was away in the Vietnam War most of youth. He was shot down a couple of times, and they sent him home each time he was shot down. I have two younger sisters. My sisters and I are very close even though we are far a part in age. My mother is my idol. I’ll probably tear up talking about her. She’s an amazing woman. With my father traveling the way he did, she was able to take over and run the household and be ‘Marge-in-charge’ ninety-nine percent of the time, but when he would come home, she had the ability to stand back and let him take over. So I think my sisters and I all married salesmen, who travel, because of what my mother did and the way that she ran that household. We all are able to do it so easily because of her example. That said, I have a story to tell and I’m very passionate about it, as well as having some fear in talking about my story. I believe that every little girl has some daddy issues. My daddy issues revolve around the fact that my father wasn’t present for most of my early childhood, but when he became present in my later years, after Vietnam, our relationship was strained. He was a great man, highly respected, but he and I didn’t have a great relationship. We were frequently butting heads. (Possibly because we were so much alike!) These issues kind of molded who I was through my high school and college years.” Beth goes on to discuss how she felt that she was boyfriend-dependent and she went from each boyfriend to the next. She had six, two year relationships over the course of high school and college, and her sixth relationship, they ended up getting engaged, which got called off. She did end up meeting her now husband, after they only dated for eighteen months, but now they have been married for twenty-nine years (And boy are they one of the most adorable couples!)

She then goes to explain an experience that she had in college. I will go ahead and warn you that what you are about to read is not for the faint at heart, but I feel that it is one that needs to be told. She states, “In college, I went on a blind date with a guy, who then took me back to his trailer, afterwards, and locked me in his bedroom and came in a little bit later and I was raped. I could not get out of the trailer. The windows were somehow closed and locked shut. He left me stuck in that room. I screamed, I banged, and I did everything I could and still couldn’t get out. The next morning when I woke up the door was unlocked, no one was there, and I left. But I couldn’t find one of my shoes. I am two miles from my dorm, so I started walking down the street, barefoot, towards my dorm and somebody picked me up, I don’t remember who it was. Not knowing any differently, I got in dorm and I got in a very hot shower for two hours… trying to wash the ugliness off of me. I didn’t know any better. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t talk to anyone, and I was embarrassed and humiliated. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t tell anybody, but two weeks later I was visiting with a friend, and we were going to go to a concert. I got really sick and really cramping in my stomach. They took my to the emergency room and I had gonorrhea, pelvic inflammatory disease. It had eaten up my insides, so a big dose of penicillin and a couple days later and I’m better. I came back and I got a hold of this guy and I said ‘this happened and you gave it to me.’ He said ‘No, no I didn’t.’ So through a series of conversations with other girls, this other girl was telling me that she had been on a blind date that went awful, and I asked her what his name was and she told me. I told her that I had a blind date with the same guy that went awful. I asked her how bad was hers and she said that he raped her, and I told her he raped me too. She said at the end of it she couldn’t find her shoe, and I told her I couldn't find my shoe. I told her I had gonorrhea and she said she did too. So it was crazy that I ran into this girl… but apparently this is what he did: he would go pick up girls, take them back to his trailer, rape them, and take a shoe as a trophy. After that, I felt worthless. I felt violated. I thought ‘God, why would you let this happen to me?’ In the process of it all, the doctor said that I may or may not be able to have children because the damage was pretty severe. I always wanted children. I always wanted a big family. I also imagined myself to be a mother. I just felt worthless. And I was scared.”

Beth goes on to talk about her spiritual life during this season. She explained that she was raised in the church; they went to church every Sunday, but she went to church because you were supposed to go to church. She describes herself as not having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. She said she would’ve been someone that she would call ‘Religious.’ She was just a Christian by name and did not have a personal relationship with Jesus. She goes back to that point in her life after her incident and really feeling like she had hit rock bottom with feeling so worthless and unlovable and really not knowing how she is able to trust men again. But God led her to a fine, young Christian man her last two years of college. She fell in love, and they decided they were going to get married…but there is more.

She states, “Through the whole process of going home to Chicago and coming back, even though I loved him, I loved what he stood for. I loved that he was such a good Christian guy. How could somebody so nice and so good be interested in someone like me because I’m damaged. I went through all that, but then he proposed, I accepted, and we got engaged. That was not the man for me and I realized it, even though he was a very good man, there was no passion, no spark. That’s kinda what happened. When I went home to Chicago for several weeks, I went wedding dress shopping while I was there. I actually found one that I liked and I wanted to buy it, but I decided to leave it there, at the shop, and think about it. That night, my mom asked me if I wanted to go back tomorrow to get that dress, and I said ‘Mom, I want that dress, but I’m not sure that I want the man.’’ She then went back to Birmingham, where they were living and broke up with him. Her family was moving to Memphis so she packed up her car and drove to Memphis not even knowing where her parent’s new house was. She knew the name of the street and was able to find their house because there was the moving van and her dad’s car in the driveway. (Remember, this is way before cell phones and GPS!) She was able to find a job that first weekend, when she couldn’t even find a job in Birmingham for two months… God knew what his plan was for her.

So how did she and her now husband meet?… Trust me, we’re getting to that because it is quite the story, but bear with us.

Her ex-fiancé was having a hard time so she invited him up to Memphis to visit. He spent the weekend up there, and Beth’s mom suggested that they go to the local Baptist church, since he was Baptist. She explained that it just so happened to be singles’ Sunday… which we got a kick out of that! He ended up going back home, and everything was good after that. Beth decided to go back to that church, and went every Sunday from then on.

So… now comes the story of how she met her amazing husband, Brian Jones, AKA B.J.

“On Halloween of ’86, I went to a singles hayride. We got on the hayride and there was this guy with full beard and a plaid shirt on. He looked like a redneck from the hills and his name was Brian Jones. A couple of months later, I was singing in the choir at church and he was a dancing shepherd in the Christmas Festival. So I said to the girl next to me, ‘What’s that guy’s name that keeps staring at us?’ She said, ‘His name is Brian Jones, but we call him B.J. If he asks you out, you better go!’ I said, ‘he’s not going to ask me out.’ Well, a week before New Years Eve I get this phone call at work and it’s B.J. He asked me if I knew who he was and I told him yes. He asked me out on New Years Eve, but I told him I had to work until 11:30 but I would be there afterwards. I got there at 12:05 and he was gone. That didn’t work, so I went out with his friends at the party because BJ had gone duck hunting. Long story short, third try, we finally went out on a date, and that was it. Since I was living over my parents’ garage, BJ picked me up there. Afterwards, my father said ‘Congratulations! That is the first REAL MAN you have ever gone out with. Having my father’s approval meant a lot to me!”

She explained that she looks back on her life and she lists everything that you just read, and realizes that if those things didn’t happen she wouldn’t be where she is now. She knows that God had this sovereign plan for her life. She goes on to discuss with us that during the same time she was dating B.J., she got saved and really felt the Holy Spirit come into her heart, and B.J. lead her new Christians’ class. So I mean obviously it was meant to be.

She and B.J. are happily married and have three grown sons, and now a grand baby.

Despite what the doctor said, she was able to have her dream of a family. They started their life in Memphis, but then moved to Birmingham before their third son was born. Beth is now a Realtor in Birmingham, and truly loves what she does. It was quite the journey for her to get where she is now, and she’s had a few career changes, from being a med tech, to a personal trainer, to now a Realtor, but has really found her true love as a Realtor. She chose to pursue this dream when her youngest graduated high school. She is a successful Realtor, not because you would see her on the top 20 Realtors list in Birmingham, but because she is truly relational with each client (check her out if you are in need to buy or sell a house)!

To close our conversation I wanted her to give some advice to the young women of today, as well as discuss her view of her own beauty. So we will leave you with this: “In a physical sense, I have always thought of myself as average. When I was younger, if I had gone missing and someone needed to describe me to the police, they would have said she is average. Average height, average weight, dull brown hair of medium length, plain brown eyes, medium color skin, small mouth, big nose, yellow teeth...Nothing spectacular or noteworthy. Not unfortunate looking, but not beautiful, either. Just average. Now, I am very secure in who I am and I’m at that age where I just don’t care what people think. (That doesn’t mean I will leave the house without my makeup on!) I know my worth is not coming from the world. My advice to young girls would be to let yourself grow into the person that God has planned for you. Don't be afraid to adapt and evolve. At the same time, know what your standards are and stick to them. Don’t try to find your worth in other people’s opinions of you, and be just the wonderful, beautiful creation that God made you to be.”

If you haven’t fallen in love with Beth, then you must not have read her whole story. Beth is quite the inspiration for any woman out there that may be reading this, so please let her words sink deep. She expressed to Emily and I that she has really wanted to share her story, so please let us know your thoughts and just let us know how amazing you think she is.

Thank you to Beth for being awesome and sharing your story, and wisdom to all of us women folk in the world.

Also a special thanks to Emily for being an amazing partner and capturing these moments on camera. Her Story wouldn’t be the same without you.

A Big thank you to You, our readers. We appreciate you following Her Story, so please continue to share your thoughts with us. To keep up with Her Story updates you can subscribe to our website or follow us on Instagram at herstorybham.