For Bitterness to be Removed from Your Life, You have to Understand Why it's There

It's time again to release another story. We hope that you are enjoying the nice fall weather we are having here in the Ham, and we hope that you enjoy this month's story. We are so excited to have another special friend share her journey with you all, and she has so much wisdom for being a young adult. This lady has such an amazing, genuine spirit about her that will show itself all throughout Her Story. We could not have had a better time with this lady, so here it is... our next story.

Her name is Elizabeth Brinkley

When we were deciding where to meet Elizabeth for her story, she threw out some options and I was sold immediately on one of her suggestions that I felt representing Elizabeth well. I have known Elizabeth for a little over a year (we lead worship together at our church, and people she's amazing!!!). We decided to sit down and have our conversation over dinner at Real & Rosemary, this small, secluded restaurant in Homewood. It was the perfect setting for the three of us to sit and have some girl time. As we usually start, I asked Elizabeth to tell us a little about herself. She answered, "I'm 20. I am studying human development and family sciences at Samford University. My best friend is my sister. I want to work with women who have been trafficked in the future, I don't know how I will get to there, but I know that is what I want to do. I want to advocate for them as well as having a relationship with that specific population. I'm also a RA to freshman girls, and I love my school, and I don't know what else to say." This questions always gets so many different answers but many of the women honestly don't know how to answer it when they get put on the spot. We all kinda hate these types of questions, so sorry to all the women that hate when we ask that. Elizabeth expressed that that question reminds her of being asked about a fun fact and how awful that is so we asked Elizabeth to answer that as well. Elizabeth's fun fact is that she likes popcorn... and people, this girl loves popcorn. She tried to down play how that really wasn't a fun fact but she could go into specific detail on how she likes her popcorn. Here is Elizabeth's recipe for amazing popcorn: "I get a pot and put coconut oil in there, and I put the kernels in and pop it that way. Then I put in pink Himalayan salt. Then I melt a dark chocolate bar in there, it's like 87% dark chocolate, it's my favorite. Then I drizzle the chocolate over it. Then I cut up almonds and then I put it over it. I put it in the freezer and then I eat it like that." Y'all I think Elizabeth missed her calling as a popcorn chef (If you try her recipe, let us know your thoughts). Other than her love of popcorn, Elizabeth has some other amazing qualities that we will continue to share with you.

We went on to discuss her definition of success, especially since she is about to embark on new journeys after college. She expressed, "I would define success in a life that other's feel loved by me. Being consistently aware of what the holy spirit is doing around me and walking in that. Do I always do that? No. But that's my goal. As I'm looking at jobs and things like that, I think the holy spirit will give me the discernment that I will need to make those decisions." Elizabeth discusses with us what all she would tell you college folk out there and she thinks that if you're in this season of life, as she is, to rest and be confident that God is sovereign and that everything will work out. Really that should be the theme of college, and honestly, it's okay to not have all the answers. I try to not get too personal with these conversations because this is about Elizabeth but she has such a great point here. As someone who finally decided my major into my junior year of college, I completely understand that you do not have to have it all together. God will work it out and give you the guidance you need in His timing, key part to that is His timing and Elizabeth has really gotten to see that play out in her life. Even when she didn't realize it at the time.

This allowed us to transition to talk about some of the hard stuff that Elizabeth has gone through that has really allowed her to see God's sovereignty. I asked Elizabeth to describe one of the most challenging things that she has had to go through and she explained, "Probably when my mom died and in the after math. Not even the event itself but the reality of that loss sinking in and the aftermath. My mom died in 2011 and my dad got remarried in 2013, and a blended family isn't easy for anyone. This past summer, I went through a time of realizing that I have let a lot of past hurt and bitterness from my relationships with people that I thought were going to be there for me after my mom died. I was just filled with bitterness from these unfulfilled promises. When I was in Bulgaria this summer working with women who had been trafficked, I got to do my own personal growth time and researching a topic that has been challenging for me. I ended up doing some self reflection and realizing that I'm a control freak. I realized that I always want to change situations that weren't the way I wanted them to be. This lead me to really pray over the relationship that I have with my step mom. God just gave me a love for her, that was really challenging for myself on my own. There was a lot of bitterness there. One thing though, is for bitterness to be removed from your life, you have to understand why it's there. When my mom got sick I felt the holy spirit telling me that my mom would be healed and then she died. I realized that I had a lot of bitterness towards God for that. You would never have seen that because I kept leading worship and mentoring girls, but I was not in the place to be doing that. Literally, one day I was just driving and I felt God tell me, 'Let Me love you.' In that moment, I realized that I closed myself off to accepting His love and without His love, there's no way for me to truly and genuinely love people. He opened up my eyes to see that He did heal my mom, just not in the way I wanted Him to. It has really changed my perspective. Through everything that has gone on, something good has come out of that. Now I'm really able to see that as well." Elizabeth has such a wonderful perspective on the things that she has experienced in her life. She is now being able to use this hardship to share with other girls who may have experienced something similar. No wonder this girl is such an amazing RA. She truly loves on each one of the girls that comes into her life. Her advice to you younger ladies out there would be to "always trust in the Lord and He is faithful. He will come through for you even in your moments of doubt or even in your brokenness." People, the Lord is sovereign in every situation. It doesn't take away from how you are feeling right now and it's okay to go through those feelings, but God is faithful and will show you that sovereignty, even if your situation doesn't change.

We decided to take a lighter turn and talk about the best thing that has happened in her life. Elizabeth discussed that she really has amazing friendships. She has genuine, quality friendships. This has been a great encouragement to her and has truly been one of the best things of her life. Even when she feels lonely, she knows that she has a great support system. Community is really a great thing, and is definitely needed for all the introverts and extroverts out there.

As we always do, we ended with asking Elizabeth to define beauty for us and if she finds herself beautiful. She answered, "I think that make up and hair stuff is fun, and it's something that I like to do but that's not all to a person at all. When I really get to know someone, I enjoy being around them and the more beauty I start to see in them. I think beauty is the confidence and security of who you are. I think some days I have that and some days I don't. Some days I feel good about myself, not that I'm cocky, but that I'm not self conscious about myself. It really depends on my days and my mood. It really depends on the perspective that I go into the day with. Like, today I feel good but two days ago, I didn't feel confident in myself. My face didn't change, my body didn't change. It is really on my perspective. If I allow God to speak truth over me, I will understand how God thinks of me. Not what I think he thinks of me, but the truth of how he thinks of me." This was honestly one of mine and Emily's favorite answers to this question. I think Elizabeth hit the nail on the head that it truly just depends. We know as a follow of Christ they we are made in his image so we are made beautiful but sometimes that is hard to believe and feel. And it's okay not to feel beautiful, it's just part of being human and women.

Elizabeth, thank you so much for sitting down with us, and just pouring out your heart. I told you all that you would not want to miss this story, and I'm sure you believe me now. She is wise beyond her years, and I feel like I learned so much from this story. Also, a big thanks to my amazing partner in this, Emily. I couldn't write these things without her, and she always does such an amazing job with the pictures.

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