I Found God in a Steakhouse Story.

Welcome back to month three of her story. Emily and I have been so excited about all the new exciting things coming this year, but we really just love bringing it back to our wonderful women who allow us into their lives each month. This month we got to sit down with someone Emily has been fond of, but this was my first time meeting her. Emily gave me a little information about her before meeting and one of the main things I knew was that she had written a book. Think about how intimidated I was... I mean this lady has been published. But y'all this lady is honestly one of the sweetest and most genuine people I have had the pleasure to meet. Emily has some special people in her life so you will probably see that more this year. Well enough about all that, it's time for our next story.

Her name is Amy Holmes

We had the pleasure to sit down with Amy in her cozy home. It truly is so wonderful to be not only welcomed into these lady’s lives but also their homes. It was the perfect spot for us to dive deep into conversation with Amy. We got to talk a little bit before we started the interview but Amy was so amazing in throwing out all this wisdom that I had to stop our conversation to start our recording because I didn't want to miss all the wonderful things she had to say. As we always do, we started with getting Amy to tell the world a little about herself. She answered, "I'm Amy Holmes, I'm a teacher; I teach 2nd grade. I'm about to step away from that just to find my place, where the Lord is leading me now: The journey. Just a few years back, I wrote a journal entry about the destination as opposed to the journey itself. The destination is everybody's goal but the journey is where the beauty is. Once you reach the destination it's like 'oh we're here,’ but the journey is where the good things happen. I'm just ready to see where the Lord is going to take me and enjoy the journey of that. I just know the Lord in a way now that I've never known Him before in my life. Growing up, I was always in church, but I just had the wrong perspective, it was just a 'me' based perspective, instead of looking at things from His perspective. I was looking at it as all the things that I had to do instead of what he has already done for me. I was such a mess, but then I started to hear all about the grace of God. About 6 years ago, He started me on this journey about Grace."

Amy went on to discuss her journey learning more about God and His relationship with her and what all that looked like. She discussed with us that it was easier for her to understand Jesus loving her but God loving her was different. She asked the Lord to start to reveal that to her and He did. She tells us a story of when she was a little girl and how she got to see God's love through her father. She recalls a time she was at a restaurant, Bananza Steakhouse, as a small girl and she remembers being under everyone in line and she remembers it being so dark with all those legs and people. She eventually couldn't handle it anymore and tugged on her dad's bell bottoms and said, "Hey, it's dark down here." He looked down at her and picked her up and they thought it was funny and asked her if that was better. She recalls this story in one moment in her life that used to make her laugh, but in that one moment made her burst into tears because the Lord was reveling to her that that is the perfect example of His love for her. She stated, "It was like God saying, 'I see you in your darkness and all you have to do is call out. I'm going to scoop you up and put you over my heart." In that moment, I saw it. That is His heart for me. That's my God Bananza story. I found God in a steakhouse story."

She goes on to talk to us about how that story encouraged her to write her own book. She tells us that she always wanted to write a book, even when she was young but never could find the right subject matter. One day in 2015, it happened on her way to church while she was singing ‘Good, Good Father.’ The Lord revealed to her that her book would be about identity and her identity in Christ, which at this point in her life she felt like she was truly getting to see the Lord for who He is. She realized that it was all about identifying with Christ. She goes on to discuss how this was placed on her heart right before she took her trip to Israel, which made things even more surreal for her. When she returned home she had so many thoughts but the Lord started to also reveal other people in the bible and their stories and identity in Christ. But that wasn’t all, she thought that everything was finished for her book, but she wanted to end it talking about God’s identity. She knew that she had to get this out to the world so they could really know who the Lord is because it changed her life forever. I’ve tried to leave out a lot of the details so that you all can read it yourselves. I have not been able to read through her whole book quite yet, but the pieces that I have heard about and read are amazing, so you should do yourself a favor and get her book. It’s the perfect, readable size, and has so much truth in it… that’s my plug for Amy’s book but here’s more of what Amy shared with us.

We asked Amy to share with us one of the most challenging things that she has experienced and here is what she had to say, “The most difficult thing was being sexually abused as a child. It tainted trust because it was by someone I trusted. It totally changed my perspective of the innocence that children should have. I felt guilty, ashamed and afraid. I didn’t talk to my parents about it for many years, which then I would think about why I never said anything earlier and then I would feel more guilt. That experience played a big part in my shame base nature and that kept me so introverted and afraid of people. I think the most difficult thing was always carrying that shame and it lagging in the back of my mind. I think that has been the most difficult thing, but here’s the beautiful thing about Jesus, when I got a hold of these new things I was learning about God’s grace, it changed. I used to have these night terrors and my abuser would be in them. When my husband would leave for work trips, I would have these night terrors and they would seem so real and I wouldn’t stay by myself and would go stay with my parents. When I started really experiencing seeing how God really was, the night terrors went away, I would start to stay home at night when my husband was out of town. Also, now when I think about my childhood, I never think about that experience. And if I do think about it, there’s no pain with it anymore. His perfect love cast out my fear.” Y’all this woman truly just radiates Christ love and is so genuine in her love for Christ.

We hated to end our time with Amy but as we always end every conversation, we asked her to define beauty and if she finds herself beautiful. She explained, “It’s all about the heart. Beauty is in the heart. People can be beautiful on the outside but then they open their mouths and your perception changes. Then there’s people that you might not be drawn to but when they start to speak from their heart, the beauty is there. There’s a part of my book where I said the beauty is there all along, it was just wrapped up and had to be unravelled. Really the beauty is Jesus. When He is such a big part of our lives, you can tell. And in that sense, I find myself beautiful because I have seen the other side of myself, the ugly side, and I know the beauty in me is the joy that he’s given me. It’s His beauty that makes me beautiful.”

Honestly, I wish I could put the audio of our conversation on the blog instead of trying to write it out because Amy just said so much great stuff. We sat with her for a while, and didn’t even realize how much time had gone by. We were able to talk about the amazingness of God’s grace and how God has transformed Amy’s life, and you can see it in everything that Amy does. I know you all will hear more from Amy soon as she is about to pursue writing more and really having the flexibility to go wherever the Lord leads her, whether it be writing or speaking… but y’all should buy her book or any study/book she writes in the future. If you see her speaking anywhere, you should do yourself a favor and go. She really is on fire for the Lord, and is such a light in a dark world.

Amy, it was a privilege to hear your heart, and the Her Story team can’t thank you enough for being so genuine and kind. We can’t wait to see where the Lord takes you and we are behind you 100%.

As always, thank you all for taking the time to read these stories. Our hope is that you can take these words an apply them to your life as well as be encouraged to share your journey. You never know who might need to hear your words. If you don’t follow us on social media please find us on instagram at herstorybham or Facebook Her Story. Also, don’t forget to share these stories with your friends, we are so grateful for every share.

Also, a big thank you as always to the amazing Emily for great pictures and honestly, bringing us some of the best people to interview. We all need to have an Emily in our lives! See you all next month.