The Lord Knows Best

Welcome back to this month’s edition of Her Story. We hope all our teacher friends, students, and parents have enjoyed the start back to school. We also hope that you all have enjoyed the little glimpses of fall that have been sneaking up on us. I don’t think fall could get here soon enough. Not only are we excited about the arrival of fall, but we can’t wait to share this months story with you. This lady was just what our hearts needed this month. She is full of joy and encouragement for all, so please do not skip through this one. You will want to read every word. Buckle your seat belt because this lady is about to bring some truth.

Her name is Hayley Pate

Emily and I met Hayley at her house late in the evening. We were greeted with such sweet smiles and a playful, adorable little girl of hers. First, we had to do some catching up as Hayley used to team teach with Emily’s mom, so it’s only fun to catch up on all things life. As we made our way to our conversation space outside, Hayley treated us to such hospitality, making us brownies and lemonade. People, these ladies know the way to our hearts and stomachs. Once we sat down, we got to start our conversation with Hayley as we always do for her to tell us a little about herself. She answered, “My background is sort of unique in that my parents were missionaries in South Korea, and my dad’s a pastor. He and my mom went to South Korea to help with a church plant there. During this time my parents adopted my twin sister, Joy, and me at 6 weeks old. The cool part was that my mom knew the Lord had a set of twin girls for them. They got to Korea and they went to adoption agency, and they spoke to one of the counselors there. She asked if they had a set of twin girls there, and they told them no. My mom would not give up because she knew the Lord had a set of twin girls for her. But just as their adoption process was completed, we showed up! The agency was reluctant to give us to them

because they were first- time parents. My mom was so persistent, that finally the counselor broke down and told them about us. As soon as my parents saw us they knew we were theirs. My parents stayed in South Korea with for about two years and ended up going back to the U.S. for about a year. After that year, my dad got called to pastor a church in Belize City, in Central America. Now we look at that place as a cruise ship stop and see the beautiful side of Belize but back then it was a third world country. We were in the slums of Belize. I had friends that didn’t have beds, and growing up seeing that, the Lord used that to help me appreciate things even to this day. It gave me a foundation for thankfulness growing up in that type of poverty around me. We spent the bulk of our childhood in Belize, about ten years. We then moved back to the U.S. and I went to Auburn and got my degree in education. I always knew I was called to be a teacher (and y’all don’t we know it. If you went to Chelsea and had Ms. Hayley Watts, you were truly blessed). I ended up teaching for about 17 years. During that stretch I taught 1st and 2nd grades, and was an assistant principal. I also was able to teach in Honduras for 2 years and be on the mission field there. I went to visit a friend there and I knew within 24 hours that I was being called there. After that, I came back to the U.S. and ended up teaching back where was I was before I left for Honduras. That’s when I got to team teach with Emily’s amazing mom (shout out to you Melissa Smith). Soon after that I met my husband in our Sunday school class at church. We got married and we have a daughter, Riley Claire, now. Just as clear as my calling was to be a teacher, the Lord has now given me the calling to stay home with my daughter. I love Riley Claire more than words can express, and I’m beyond thankful to be able to be at home and invest in her, but this has certainly been one of the most challenging things I’ve experienced. You would think living in Honduras or teaching a large class would be the hardest, but being a mom has been the most challenging. It’s a whole new world and I depend daily on the Lord to give me wisdom to know how to raise her in His ways. It has been challenging, but so rewarding and the biggest blessing as well.”

Hayley went on to tell to us about how it was an adjustment, especially as formerly being a driven working woman. Hayley had a lot of opportunities in her career, but she always knew she had to follow the Lord’s leadership whether it was to the mission field or to stay at home with her daughter. I asked Hayley to give some advice to all you moms out there. Here is what she had to share, she stated, “In my mind I always thought, once I finally get married and finally have that baby and get to stay at home, everything in my life will be great. That was a big misconception. I encourage my friends not to set their hopes on all these things because your relationship with Christ is where you will find all your peace, joy, and fulfillment. If you’re waiting on a certain life event to finally be happy, you’re looking in all the wrong places.” Hayley went on the explain how she had a pretty good pregnancy but when her daughter was born, she had to go to the NICU. Hayley remembers just being so exhausted in all aspects and so helpless. She remembers thinking that God was reminding her that her daughter was His and that he would provide. Hayley explained that God uses those hard moments to bring us all closer to Him and to refine us. Even after bringing her daughter home from the hospital, she was so exhausted and the Lord provided for her in so many ways. She also wants all you mamas to know to hang in there and to always keep that quiet time with the Lord no matter how exhausted you are, even if it’s just for a few minutes. She explains that reading the Bible and praying is such a critical time for her, and it really helps her to connect to the Lord more and gives her strength to get through the day. Hayley acknowledges that apart from God, she can do nothing. But she’s so thankful that she can do all things through Christ who strengthens her. She also encourages you to pray for your children daily. She mentioned that her mom would pray for her and her sister for an hour each day. She tries to do that as much as possible, and would encourage you other mamas to do that.

We did not want to end this conversation with Hayley, but we eventually ended with asking her to define beauty and answer if she finds herself beautiful. She answered, “To define beauty, I go back to God’s word, because it is ultimate truth. There’s a Bible verse that says, 'Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry, and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.' (1 Peter 3:2-4) To me, that doesn’t mean that it’s wrong to care about our outward appearance, but what is wrong is if you are so caught up in that and it becomes a priority over loving Jesus and treating others with kindness and compassion. Loving others is what is truly beautiful through Christ. I realize that this is only possible through the power of the Holy Spirit that He has given me (as He promised), to be my helper. I surrendered my life to Jesus as my Lord & Savior when I was a young child. So I know that I’m beautiful because Jesus’s sacrifice on the Cross makes me beautiful and right before God. When I’m living a more self-centered life, I don’t FEEL beautiful, but I have to ask God to redeem those moments. I am completely weak in my own flesh but strong and beautiful through Christ.”

As you can see, Hayley had some amazing words to share with us. I wish I could capture every moment with her in this story about how much she radiates the Gospel. Hayley would light up every time talking about the Lord and all that He has done for her. She is one amazing woman, and we were grateful for her to allow us into her life.

As always, thank you to the amazing Emily for taking our pictures and dedicating time to this project each month, despite the busy schedules. And thank you to each of you who read these stories this month. It truly means the world to Emily and myself. We would love for you to continue to share this movement with your friends. If you do not follow us on social media, please find us on Instagram at herstorybham and Facebook by searching Her Story.