We're Back: 2019 Year in Review

Hi Friends!

We have been quite MIA lately, and thank you for continuing to follow along on our journey. For 2020, we are doing a few things differently than we thought. Originally, we were planning to launch a new podcast in 2019, but life happened. We knew we wanted to keep Her Story going but we didn't know how. With Mary Beth's move to Atlanta, things become more difficult to navigate what the vision is for what's next. We decided the best way to continue this dream, is to go back to writing. We are going to be starting off 2020 with some words from us, but in the next couple of months, we will be hearing from all different women about all different topics. We want Her Story to be utilized for other women to have a platform to share their story. We hope you enjoy our 2019 year in review. We will first start with Emily and then you will hear from Mary Beth. Buckle up friends because life hit us both pretty hard this past year, but if we both learned anything it would be that God's got us. So here we go... sharing pieces of ourselves with you all for the first time since we've launched.

Emily's 2019 Year in Review:

If you would have asked me in 2018 what my 2019 would look like I would have said something frilly with butterflies and rainbows, but my sweet friends, it most certainly was not. 2019 was a difficult year. It was a year of beautiful growth, but a year of some pretty rough growing pains. I truly didn’t want to share my year with you because it wasn’t pretty. When talking to my sweet Connor he said, “But Em, the thing is - life’s not pretty and that’s okay. It’s not about how hard you can hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward (thanks Con… and Rocky).” He was right, life’s not butterflies and rainbows. It’s not an Instagram picture wheel of smiles, sometimes, and I mean most times, life is messy. You just have to take it with a grain of salt and a big dose of grace. So here it is, my year in review-

2019, the most wonderful, but hardest year we’ve faced individually and as a couple. We’ve been through death, crushed spirits, career changes, unexpected financial friction, etc., etc., etc. But God… God has blessed us time and time again- A beautiful wedding and marriage, wonderful jobs, the greatest family and friends, strength we didn’t know we could have, peace in the midst of the unknown, and the sweetest, most genuine love for each other.

2019 was the year we had to have so much faith- faith in God’s process and faith in each other. The year I just had to throw my hands up and say, “God this is overwhelming... help.” The year that took so much joy from me, and us as a couple, but gave it back so graciously. The year that showed me time and time again that Gods got it, He always has a plan that far outweighs our expectations. It was the year that I constantly heard the Holy Spirit whisper, “Trust me... Just trust me.” A lot of surrender happened in the commotion that surrounded me. It was the year of constant change and new norms... living life without people we love so dearly, adjusting to life with each other under one roof (he snores and sometimes I’m just a little messy), my best friend moving to Georgia, starting new jobs within weeks from each other - me teaching in a new school, teaching a new grade, and getting my classroom together in a couple of weeks and his with crazy hours (I’m talking some days he’s gone 7:30-2:00, then others it’s 7:30 am -11:00 pm, or my personal favorite *totally kidding* 3:00 PM to 3:00 AM)... stressful. We have lived in constant change for the past 12 months, but as we’ve gotten the swing of things we’ve gained some stability and praise God for that!!! I often talk about getting a tattoo… maybe 19 or something. I just want the visual reminder that things may be hard and the season may feel never-ending, but God is preparing me for what He has prepared for me. Each season has a purpose. And as 2019 was coming to an end and 2020 began I have seen the purpose for the overwhelming season of 2019 as it unfolded and all I could say was, “Thank you, Lord. I get it.” Thank you for the trials because, eventually, when I saw the beauty surface from the ashes, the purpose behind the tears, doubt, and loneliness my heart was overwhelmed with joy, contentment, and peace. Thank you for being the light in the darkness.

So my encouragement for you as we conquer 2020 is - have faith in God’s process, He truly is preparing you for what is meant for you. Hold on to the faith that he can move mountains and part the seas. He is taking care of you, every step of the way.

Mary Beth's 2019 Year in Review:

I've been praying and thinking through what I would like to say about 2019, and for a while I didn't really know the right words to describe this past year. From the beginning of the year to the very end of the year, life was taking us on a roller coaster with infertility, add a little family dynamic changes to that, sprinkle in a move to another state, and you have our year in review.... But God knows, there was so much more to the story than most people saw. Some of the things that were in our year are not my story to tell, so that will be left out, but the things that our mine to share, I will gladly share with you all.

As most of you know, Zach and I have been trying to start a family for a few years now and that hasn't played out the way we thought. With all the doctors' visits and testing, it can be such a daunting task. The first half of our year was all consumed with this task. We thought we knew what to expect, but God threw a lot at us in such a short time. I'm not going to lie, it was hard. Some of the hardest moments of my life so far. Such a difficult journey to walk through but we truly had amazing support from our family, friends, and church. Towards the summer things started to be looking up, I was enjoying my job, my best friend was getting married, we were going to try new treatment options, my husband was enjoying his job, we were gaining authentic community at our church... things were good. Until they weren't... The moment that wrecked my life forever, and at that time I didn't know if it was for good or for bad. In July, I was approached by my husband about us possibly moving for his job. I never thought in a million years this would happen. We were happy in Birmingham, things were looking up for us, but for some reason I felt the Lord say to me to have my hands open, and not hold so tightly to the things here. So there I was, telling my husband to be open to this new idea. And friends, it happened. We moved. We left everything we knew and loved and went two and a half hours east to Atlanta.

Both Zach and I were comforted by this move as we felt the Lord created every step for us to do this in earlier months: failed treatments, taking a step back from leading worship at our church, family situations... everything that had happened, felt like it was meant to happen for us to pursue this move, even as hard as it was to give up everything we'd been working towards in Birmingham. I truly don't think people understood what all I was leaving behind when we left. We moved to this new city and low and behold, Zach isn't able to make the move with me. So here I am in Atlanta (thankful for an aunt and uncle to stay with) no job, no husband, no children, no friends... just me and the dogs. In this moment, I truly got to see where my faith was. I felt like everything that I loved and cared for, I didn't have. There were so many days where I truly felt like God was playing a joke on us. We really thought this was the right decision but nothing was falling into place. The houses we were making offers on were falling through and no job prospects. My life felt so empty.

BUT GOD... slowly the Lord was showing me how I was too comfortable with where I was. I relied too heavily on my husband, my career, my church, leading worship, my friends, my family, when at the end of the day, all I truly needed was Him. I am not saying those are bad things to have, but for my life personally I found my identity in those things and not solely in Christ. Sometimes the Lord had to bring us to such a place of humility to know that He is the only one that can make us whole. All that time I was trying to have a baby or trying to find the perfect job or be the perfect wife, none of that mattered if I wasn't seeking Christ first. When you seek Christ first, all those things float away and suddenly you become the wife you need to be or the coworker you need to be or the expected mother you need to be. When we take pure delight in Him, our desires become His desires for us. That doesn't mean I get the baby I want to have or the perfect job I want to have, but I take delight in this season of just being with Christ. Fast forward towards the end of the year and we find our house. A place we have truly been able to call home, and honestly have fallen more in love with our town that Birmingham (which I thought I would never feel). And might I add, the perfect loving neighbors. Next, I found a job. If you see me, ask me about how my job came about. It's too long of a story to share here, but it was truly God. Lastly, Zach is still not here in Atlanta with me full time yet, but the end is in sight. At the end of 2019, I could truly appreciate all the months before it. If you would've asked me three months ago, I would tell you I have no clue what God had for us, but as I drew closer to Him, I was able to open my eyes to things that had been there the whole time. How blessed Zach and I were to have this opportunity to start somewhere fresh. Make new friends, start at a new church, and fall in love with a new city. I'm not saying that every hard season has to be worth it, or that we will see why we even went through it.. But for me and 2019, God has a purpose in it. Do I want to go back, no thank you. I'm quite happy to see it in this new perspective. I did want to note, that as open as I am about the struggles of trying to have a baby, I do keep some privacy on the details for the whole world to know. If you are someone who is going through that season yourself, please feel free to reach out. I do believe God has put me on this journey to share with others who might be going through the same things.

To all our dear readers and friends, I hope 2020 is a great year for you. If it is or isn't, please know that God is always there. Even when He feels so far away, He's got you. And friends, we got this. Taking on a new year one day at a time.

If you don't already, please follow along on our journey on Instagram: @herstorybham

If you would like to follow us individually on Instagram, please do so!

Mary Beth: @marybgore

Emily: @easullivan_